The Trouble with Macs…

So with the move to London happening soon, one of the items I had to sort out was my Internet access. Here at home – working for myself from my office on the side of the house – I have a business broadband package from Demon with fixed IP addresses for all the computers and printers. When I’m out and about, I usually use a 3G USB dongle from Vodafone which is more often that not either a regular 38Kbps service or on occasion nothing more than a pretty white plastic thing for decoration only. Where there is good coverage, it’s supposed to deliver 1.8Mbps with the promise of 7.2Mbps in parts of London though annoyingly Rotherhithe doesn’t appear to be in the Promised Land but just outside – I’ll check when I get there.

So anyway, with 5GB/month I thought that might make it easier: no need to get a phone line and a broadband package, just use my allowance for a change.

But Mrs RHM then suggested I should get a webcam for my laptop so I could help the kids with their homework if need be and also keep in touch with her. Fine, I thought, though alarm bells started ringing: she uses our venerable iMac while the rest of the family have PCs.

So what’s the problem with the iMac?

Well the iMac and OSX Leopard has iChat which promotes its video chat features. To use it to its best, you need to have a .Mac account – which is expensive for what you actually get which is why I abandoned my .Mac account after a couple of years – as does your friend and .Mac is pretty much a waste of time for anyone on a PC. “Never fear”, says Apple, “you can always link up with AIM.” What?

“iChat works with AIM, the largest instant messaging community in the U.S. You and your buddies can be either AIM or .Mac users. Text, audio, and video chat whether your buddies use a Mac or a PC. Sign in with your AIM account, and all your buddies appear in your iChat buddy list.”

Great! No-one in the UK – OK, I exaggerate a tad – uses AIM: AOL Instant Messenger. The client software seems to have issues here on this PC, by the way, which comes as no surprise to me having once used AOL software for testing purposes. Go on: ask any of your connected friends what they use for instant messaging and they’ll say “MSN” (or “Windows Live Messenger“, to give it its proper name).

You can, of course, download the Mac Messenger client, but the ‘usual’ home user version does not support video messaging. Not really a surprise as I think Microsoft doesn’t really bother with Mac users as they’re lost causes as far as “the Beast of Redmond” appears to be concerned.

Maybe this is another reason not to get a Mac? Until Apple comes up with an instant messaging client that supports video messaging with Windows Live users, you’d otherwise be partially cutting yourself off from the majority of computer users, at least here in the UK.

Blatant Discrimination

I belong to a minority sector for whom discrimination is an everyday fact of life. The fact is that that discrimination is so blatant and unapologetic and is institutional discrimination but despite that, the media make little or no comment upon it.

It’s not racial discrimination. It’s not religious discrimination. It’s not sexual discrimination. No, I’m sorry to confess it’s far worse than that. It’s because I ride a motorbike.

The most recent example of this prejudice and discrimination comes from those well known haters of all things motorcycling – a Welsh police force. Their latest anti-motorcycle act is to effectively ban the annual Welsh National Motorcycle Show because:

“Dyfed-Powys Police are of the view that there is a significant risk of violence at this year’s Welsh motorcycle show.”

I see.

Surely on that basis the police should be cancelling all football matches? After all, as we saw with the UEFA Cup Final match in Manchester, there is more than a significant risk of violence with football matches. But amazingly, they are never cancelled. I wonder why? Could it be that the perception – reinforced by the police, Government and the media – that motorcyclists are all troublemakers and lawless?

After all, the House of Commons Public Accounts Committee stated that:

“Motorcyclists are particularly liable to evade road tax. Nearly 40% of motorcycles are now unlicensed.

“If the DVLA’s motorcycle enforcement regime is not to be a complete laughing stock, then the agency and the department must make the most of new powers to enforce VED on public roads.”

They must also “strongly consider more severe measures such as impounding unlicensed motorcycles”, he said, adding: “Large parts of the biking community are cocking a snook at the law.”

Of course, that was completely inaccurate, and for once the MPs were forced to apologise when it was revealed that that was complete bollocks.

Is it any wonder we feel like criminals when we are treated like criminals and discriminated against?

Metropolitan Police Brand Me a Terrorist!

So the Metropolitan Police have launched a new counter-terrorism campaign. Good stuff. From their website:

“Thousands of people have mobiles. What if someone with several seems suspicious? – Terrorists need communication. They often collect and use many anoymous [sic] pay as go phones, as well as swapping Sim cards and handsets. If your [sic] susipicious [sic] of the number of phones someone has , we need to know. Let experienced officers decide what action to take.”

Like shooting us on the tube, perhaps? Gotta love their dyslexia too.

Maybe I should stop going out with my two ‘live’ mobile phones to avoid being shot for being a suspected terrorist?

That Met. Police Poster

Ryanair in Schoolie Shocker

Ryanair Schoolie AdSo Ryanair have been criticised by the ASA for their amazingly tacky advert featuring a model dressed as a schoolgirl: the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) said the “irresponsible” image appeared to link teenage girls with sexually provocative behaviour.

Now personally, I have reservations about people who find images of women dressed as schoolgirls sexy, but that’s probably because I have a daughter of school age.

Needless to say Ryanair knew exactly what they were doing as they obviously think there’s no such thing as bad publicity:

“The ASA becomes more Monty Pythonesque by the day.  This latest ruling shows how absurd and out of touch this quango really is.  It is remarkable that a picture of a fully clothed model is now claimed to cause “serious or widespread offence”, when many of the UK’s leading daily newspaper regularly run pictures of topless or partially dressed females without causing any serious or widespread offence…”

Maybe because they’re not regularly dressed as schoolgirls to broaden Ryanair’s appeal to the frequent paedo flyer…

visordown.com – An Object Lesson

Once upon a time, a motorcycle journalist and his friend set up an online discussion forum for motorcyclists and called it visordown.com

The forum software they were using was vBulletin which is very fine indeed and the site became a great success. That success led to Ben Cope selling advertising space on the board and serving ads. as well as setting up a supporter scheme to suppress those ads. and presumably putting some of that revenue into the hosting and software costs (although there was a rumour that some of those costs were being met elsewhere).

Then a publishing house called Magicalia bought visordown.com to complement their motorcycle magazine, “TWO”. Initially things got off to a bad start with TWO including some content from visordown.com in an issue without asking for permission to do so.

It also appeared that visordown’s free and easy, say what you like attitude was being clamped down on by its new owners.

In the meantime, vBulletin announced that the latest version of their software – version 3.7 – was being developed with user blogs (basically extended user profile pages) and user galleries to make what was already the best message board software even better.

So when an announcement was made a little while back seeking testers for the new version of visordown.com and when the board was turned off yesterday for an upgrade, I was quietly pleased.

And then they re-opened the board today. It’s been moved to a different server now running different ASP board software. A server that appears to be common to the rest of the Magicalia sites all running the same board software. No doubt that decision makes sense to a large company running a number of message boards: one set of architecture to support. Of course that throws aside the history and treats visordown.com as a new site rather than an established one.

And the ‘new’ board software is, frankly, rubbish compared with vBulletin. It also appears from all the server error messages I was getting this evening when trying to post new threads or reply to existing ones, that the server or the software (or a combination of the two) cannot cope with the traffic that visordown.com generates.

I expect that the regular users will soon get fed up with the board issues and the lack of features they were used to before.

Let that be a lesson to us all…

Best Spam Ever!

An absolute corker this morning, with the subject “Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II”:

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II
Queen of England
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA, England.
********************************

ATTN: Winner

Your Ticket number: 56475600545/012 with Serial number 5368/05 drew
the Lucky number: 86.

On behalf of the Queen of England, we are pleased to notify you
that your email has won in the Annual Christmas free Internet Lotto
Sweepstakes and as a result you have been granted the lump sum payout of
£500,000 GBP which is equivalent to $917,956.00 USD.

To file for your prize, please fill and submit the claims processing
form to:

*********************************
Mr. Perkins Oliver
Email: perkinsoliver@yahoo.co.uk
Telephone: +44 702 402 4689
Fax: +44 707 502 4610
**********************************
CLAIMS PROCESSING FORM:
1 Full Names:
2 Address:
3 Age:
4 Sex:
5 Marital Status:
6 Occupation:
7 Phone numbers:
8 Country:
9 Email:

We advice you to contact your claims officer as detailed above
immediately to avoid Claims deadline.

Congratulations,
Mrs. Sarah Wilfred for
Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II
Queen of England.

So Betty’s running a sweepstakes now, is she? Excellent. And handy to tell me where she’s Queen as well, just in case I’m not sure. And she’s making 50p per minute on accepting any incoming calls and faxes! Anyone would think this might be a scam 🙂

A Personal Apology From HMR&C

So Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs have confirmed that our details were amongst those they managed to lose.

Their Acting Chairman, Dave Hartnett, wrote us “a personal apology”. Well, OK, he didn’t actually sign it. And he didn’t even bother stamping a signature on it. {sigh}

So what did it actually say?

“The copy of the data is likely to still be on Government property. The police are now conducting a search. There is no evidence that it is in the possession of anyone else.”

Well considering it was supposed to have gone from an office in Newcastle to an office somewhere else, they should have been able to find them by now, surely, if they are likely to still be on Governemet property? And of course there’s no evidence that it isn’t in the possession of anyone else, is there?

So what data is it they’ve managed to shove on a CD and lose? Nothing important, I expect.

“This data includes your and your children’s names and dates of birth, your address, your National Insurance number and, where relevant, the details of the bank or building society account…”

So … most of the necessary details for identity fraud.

Ah well, we can take comfort from his assuances that:

“all efforts are being made to ensure that such a loss can never happen again.”

What? Like maybe sending two CDs’ worth of data by e-mail rather than putting it onto CDs and shoving it in the post? And as I pointed out in my earlier post on this subject, it’s not the first time these idiots have messed up.

Am I confident in their abilities? Am I fuck! Same bunch of civil servants with cast-iron, index-linked pensions and no responsibility…

Word 2007 Speechless

Yet another “benefit” or “upgrading” to Word 2007 is the loss of the text-to-speech function inlcuded in earlier versions – I used to use this to read a Word document from one screen so that I could look for differences in a document or web page on another screen.

I found this out after waiting a little while for the Word Help [sic] window to finally open. It says:

“Text-to-speech features are included only in Microsoft Office Excel.”

Why? Well clearly Microsoft want us all to “upgrade” to Windows Vista, their operating system that would insist on my replacing a previously high end sound card with a new one just because there are no Vista drivers for it. Why the hell should I?

You think I’m kidding? No:

“Speech recognition features are not available in the 2007 Microsoft Office system programs.

“To use speech recognition features, run Windows Speech Recognition in Windows Vista.”

Or not. Helpfully, Microsoft also say:

“If your operating system is Microsoft Windows XP, you must run a previous version of a Microsoft Office system program to use speech recognition features.”

Now they tell us…

There is, however, a workaround. From within Word start the VBA Editor  by pressing Alt+F11.

Add a reference in the normal project to Microsoft Speech Object Library (Tools | References…).

Locate the “Microsoft Speech Object Library” reference and add a tick to the check box.

Note: You must have installed the Speech portion of Excel for the Microsoft Speech Object Library to be available to the VBA editor.

Create a new module by right-clicking the Modules element in the tree under the Normal project and clicking Insert | Module. Call it TextToSpeech in the module’s properties box (where it will say Module1 or whatever next to “(Name)”).

Copy and paste the following macro code into the module you have created, save and close the macro editor.

Dim speech as SpVoice 'Don't overlook this line!

Sub SpeakText()
'Based on a macro by Mathew Heikkila
'
On Error Resume Next
Set speech = New SpVoice
If Len(Selection.Text) > 1 Then 'speak selection
speech.Speak Selection.Text, _
SVSFlagsAsync + SVSFPurgeBeforeSpeak
Else 'speak whole document
speech.Speak ActiveDocument.Range(0, ActiveDocument.Characters.Count).Text, _
SVSFlagsAsync + SVSFPurgeBeforeSpeak
End If
Do
DoEvents
Loop Until speech.WaitUntilDone(10)
Set speech = Nothing
End Sub
Sub StopSpeaking()
'Based on a macro by Mathew Heikkila
'used to interrupt any running speech to text
On Error Resume Next
speech.Speak vbNullString, SVSFPurgeBeforeSpeak
Set speech = Nothing
End Sub

Now add this to your Quick Access Toolbar by clicking the down arrow at the end of the QAT | Customize Quick Access Toolbar | More Commands | Choose commands from: and select Macros from the drop-down list | Add | OK.

To use the macro, select a block of text to be read out to you and click the Macro in your QAT (or else it will read the whole shebang as I must confess the stop macro didn’t work for me…).