Stupidity

Humberside Police Complaints Procedure

| Richard

Or “How To Dramatically Reduce the Number of  Complaints We Have to Deal With”.

Humberside Police – locally referred to as “Blunderside Police” – have a section on their website about how complaints against them are handled.  This includes this part:

Complaints can be made either in person at a police station, generally to an Inspector though in exceptional circumstances they can be recorded by a sergeant, or by way of letter, e-mail, fax, telephone or via an outside agency.

If you wish to make a complaint please complete the complaint form. [Link]

That “Link” hyperlink takes you to this Word document and on page 4 of that document it says:

Where to send this form 

For your complaint to be dealt with more quickly please send this form directly to:

Professional Standards Branch
Humberside Police
Police Headquarters
Priory Road
Hull
HU5 5SF

Or via email to: Professional.Standards@humberside.pnn.police.uk

The only problem with that is that the Professional Standards Branch’s e-mail address doesn’t exist:

Delivery has failed to these recipients or groups:
Professional.Standards@humberside.pnn.police.uk
The email address that you entered couldn’t be found. Check the address and try resending the message. If the problem continues, please contact your helpdesk.

What an excellent way of reducing complaints: bounce them back!

Humberside Police Complaints Procedure

| Richard

Or “How To Dramatically Reduce the Number of  Complaints We Have to Deal With”.

Humberside Police – locally referred to as “Blunderside Police” – have a section on their website about how complaints against them are handled.  This includes this part:

Complaints can be made either in person at a police station, generally to an Inspector though in exceptional circumstances they can be recorded by a sergeant, or by way of letter, e-mail, fax, telephone or via an outside agency.

If you wish to make a complaint please complete the complaint form. [Link]

That “Link” hyperlink takes you to this Word document and on page 4 of that document it says:

Where to send this form 

For your complaint to be dealt with more quickly please send this form directly to:

Professional Standards Branch
Humberside Police
Police Headquarters
Priory Road
Hull
HU5 5SF

Or via email to: Professional.Standards@humberside.pnn.police.uk

The only problem with that is that the Professional Standards Branch’s e-mail address doesn’t exist:

Delivery has failed to these recipients or groups:
Professional.Standards@humberside.pnn.police.uk
The email address that you entered couldn’t be found. Check the address and try resending the message. If the problem continues, please contact your helpdesk.

What an excellent way of reducing complaints: bounce them back!

More Traffic Mismanagement from Southwark

| Richard

Jamaica Road in SE London can be a bit of a nightmare at peak times: what is a dual carriageway both ways was transformed a few years back to be a permanent bus lane on each carriageway (with stupid bus lane signs that tell you’re not allowed in them Monday to Sunday at any time … i.e. simply at no time) and just one lane of other traffic each way.

Couple this with width restrictions at the Rotherhithe Tunnel and you’ve guaranteed traffic chaos.

Now some of us locals know of a rat run that allow us to get closer to the roundabout, albeit we’re still messed up by the last section of bus lane, and this works to relieve congestion on the main red route.

But no. Southwark Council know better: they’ve now introduced a one-way flow on the main/only through street which means anyone trying the rat run will now have to try pulling out into Jamaica Road twice (and no doubt there will be many blocking the bus lanes accordingly) and then back into the minor side roads. This was introduced via public consultation that only local residents would have known about. Certainly I don’t remember their useless newsletter making any mention of it.

Absolutely ridiculous and yet another waste of my tax money. What a bunch of idiots!

Blind Obedience

| Richard

I went to Southampton this week.

As I drove into Soton – alone – I happened upon this road sign:

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 20.22.06

Obviously, I complied forthwith and started pointing at it. I think the other drivers in the queue were wondering if I was telling them to pull over…

More Olympic Lane Confusion

| Richard

So the press, including the Eenig Stannurd and Daily Heil, have been keen to capitalise (see what I did there?) on the apparent madness of Bus Lanes – from which ordinary motorists are banned at certain times of the day (including those bizarrely signed as being in operation all day from Monday to Sunday, i.e. always) – running side by side with Olympic Lanes for VIPs and from which we’re also banned, which would appear to mean that motorists would be unable to use those roads at all.

Eh?

Indeed, I saw the same markings heading through Battersea at the weekend, and was going to blog about it, suggesting a campaign of civil obedience which would effectively block off those routes, leading to gridlock.

But I say ‘appear to’ because that’s how the rules would appear to be unless you, for instance, expand the interactive maps at TfL and then enable the overlay that shows bus route changes. Those overlays then show that for at least part of the period during which the ORN is in operation, those bus lanes will be suspended. I doubt that they’ll be well signposted, but heigh ho. Sloppy journalism at its best and one for the usual brand of braying sheep to seize upon and repost everywhere…

Olympic Route Network – Clear As Mud

| Richard

Yet more fuckwittery from TFL and LOCOG, I presume: this time it’s the Olympic Route Network which shows the already-busy routes that will be completely messed up by bussing all the VIPs around in their 4,000 chauffeured BMWs – oh and maybe one or two athletes who aren’t staying on site at the Villages for some unknown reason.

So here’s a map of the routes: London 2012 Olympic Route Network (PDF)

There you go then: the Olympic Route Network … oh and an Alternative Olympic Route Network “to be used if the Olympic Route Network cannot be used”. Eh? Wait, there’s an explanation:

“Some road race events including the Cycling Road Race, the Triathlon and the Olympic and Paralympic Marathons, will take place on sections of the Olympic or Paralympic Route Network (ORN/PRN). During these events, which are mostly at weekends, some parts of the ORN/PRN will be closed and an alternative ORN/PRN route will be in place.  These alternative routes will be open to all general traffic. However, there will be some temporary traffic changes, including changes to traffic signal timings, on these roads so that athletes, officials, media and key Games workers can get to events on time.”

No news as to what other traffic changes will be planned if us common people are supposedly still allowed to use them. And there’s another map for us to look at showing these ORNs … which doesn’t tie-up with the AORNs on the first map, of course: where’s Jamaica Road, etc.?

Confused? You will be…

Happiness

| Richard

A beautiful, sunny day today! I left Manchester this morning and drove through the Peak District to do a presentation at an immensely impressive off-site fabrication park near to Worksop. Due to the amount of traffic, my speed was forced lower which meant I could actually sight-see as I was driving along and made my journey so much more enjoyable.

The middle of the afternoon found me heading back down to London and I chose my preferred route, via the A1 and M11. What this meant was that I ended up driving back down the route I used to travel twice a week when I was living in Cleethorpes and hence was very familiar. As it was still hot and sunny and with the music playing loudly, my mood was its usual positive one, genuinely happy. I did find myself reminiscing about the times I’d done this same journey as I passed Grantham, my former turn-off onto the A46.

I thought about the good times I’d had as a result of those journeys and how ignorance had been bliss; ignorance of my being conned, betrayed, deceived and then blatantly lied to before I left forever. And then I was reminded about how much I’m enjoying life these days without all of that baggage and how I’m at peace with what happened. I’ve already forgiven but not forgotten. It appears that what doesn’t kill you does indeed make you stronger: in my case it taught me that I could still be generous whilst suffering fools and con-artists graciously and to value family and friends more. And it meant that I could have true happiness without hassle and heartache. And that’s got to be good.

It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life
This was on my Facebook Newsfeed recently!

So I’m back in London tonight but heading back up to Manchester in the morning, this time by train so I can have a leisurely breakfast and a snooze in First Class. Work hard, play hard, love lots and live life to the full: looking forward to seeing more stunning European Cities (like Vienna, again in June) and then my Big Trip in the summer.

Unofficial Sarcasm Provider to the London Olympics

| Richard

I’ve pointed out previously that the last place anyone living in London should want to be in August 2012 will be London whilst the London Olympics is on as it’ll be chaos.

This week, there’s been news about locations for missile batteries in the East End as well. Presumably there to protect the £24bn “investment” that it has grown to (up from the £2bn that Tony BLiar’s Government promised us it would cost when we bid for the Games).

Having decided to spend a whole shedload of our cash, LOCOG have also sought to “monetise” the Games as best they can – no doubt on advice from their Strategic Consulting Provider- and may have taken (or possibly, ignored…) advice from their official market research services provider to the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games as to which companies to approach to get an Official Doodah Provider to the London 2012 Olympic Games moniker:

“The Nielsen Company will assist us in the decision making process by testing our ideas in the market place. One of our challenges – and opportunities – is connecting with young people. Nielsen will help us do this and will, I’m sure, prove to be a huge asset to our marketing push.”

Said Lord Coe. In excellent marketing-speak.

Part of this connection with young people, presumably, is telling them they can’t upload photos onto Facebook or Twitter or whatever from the event if they’re lucky enough to have bought tickets for a quick slot to see a heat of an event before being told to bugger off for the next spectator to take their place:

“Sir Keith Mills, deputy chairman of organisers Locog, said said organisers wanted to make sure that media rights which have been paid for are protected.”

The same goes for the 70,000 (presumably young) people who will be acting as “Games Makers”.

And I suppose that this connection with young people will be to “inspire a generation” – how much did that cost? – perhaps by steering them towards some of the other companies who’ve chipped in (despite growing concern as to their products) to be Worldwide Partner (Coca-Cola), Official Lager Supplier (Heineken, with “exclusive pouring rights”), Official Restaurant of the London 2012 Olympic Games, Official Treat Provider (Cadbury/Trebor) and of course choose from any selection from drugs company and Official Laboratory Services Provider to London 2012 (GlaxoSmithKline). What could possibly go wrong?

Some smokes, some beers...

 

Still, it’s just business…

Robin Hood, Or What Is “Fair”?

| Richard

So we had a new Budget with the Chancellor, Gideon, heralding things that won’t happen for another year in the hope that we will assume he means April 2012 when he refers to “next April” when in fact it’s April 2013.

But apart from that, the Government continue to bang on about everyone paying their fair share in taxes, unless you’re Simon Hughes MP, in which case it’s a “fare share“…

This latest statement by Simon Hughes MP is headlined “Budget makes sure the richest pay their fare share – Simon Hughes MP” but then goes on to fanfare that:

“…hundreds of thousands of South Londoners on low and middle incomes given a tax cut, paid for by raising the burden of tax on the wealthy.”

…

“Liberal Democrats have made sure that this government has done what Labour never did – make sure the richest pay their fair share … despite a cut in the top income tax rate to 45p next year the richest will pay five times the amount in taxes they do today.”

Oh I see! So that’s fair is it?

And where does this magical “five times the amount” come from? I haven’t seen that calculation shown anywhere, or is it just another case of “lies, damned lies and statistics”?

What’s wrong with a proportional tax system whereby everyone pays the same tax in percentage terms? Does a “rich” person use more of what the Government provides from taxes by way of health and welfare than a lower paid person? I’d wager not; probably the opposite with private healthcare being a likely perk. Education? Surely the “rich” are more likely to pay for Quentin and Letitia to go be educated privately too. Local services are paid through Council Tax which increases with property size so the better off are already paying more for local services that way.

If you are going to look at taxation based upon affordability, why not own up and call it that?

For the record, I’m not rich by any means and by a quirk of the tax system which appears bewilderingly complex and confusing, HMRC has already decided that I somehow paid less tax through PAYE then I should have last year – HMRC helpfully provided my tax code which calculated the “incorrect” deductions – and taking that and the tax rules into account, for 2012/2013 I will have a negative code, i.e. I will pay tax on more than I actually earn.

Which is “fair”, if you happen to be a Liberal Democrat politician, obviously. Or a Conservative. Tricky to tell them apart…