News

Hope For Me Yet

| Richard

Whilst reading an article a friend had blogged about, my eye was drawn to a rather attractive, bikini-clad young lady who is, apparently, “Gary Lineker’s girl”.

Now ever with my finger on the pulse, I had no idea he was divorced (a couple of years already) or that there was indeed a new partner for him.

Anyway, here’s a link to the Daily Mail’s story which is basically an excuse to see her looking fabulous in a number of different bikinis. With my 46th birthday rapidly approaching, it’s also good for me to see a 47-year-old still able to attract totty a woman whilst also having the makings of a stomach and love handles (though not quite on my scale). And he’s greyer than me, though more hirsute.

In other news, the BBC’s flying penguins were a cut above the rest of the April Fools including Virgin/Google’s “Virgle” flying to Mars one.

I Wish I Were French (Redux)

| Richard

So our former Prime Minster, Tony BLiar, was ‘blessed’ with a wife like Cherie who had/has a great law career and is also doing speaking engagements these days. Here’s Cherie:
Cherie Blair

Not an oil-painting, though. And Gordo Brown’s wife Sarah, is how shall we say, a comely lady and a great Mum, no doubt:

The Browns

But of course, if I were French, we’d have a President’s wife like Carla Bruni:

Carla Bruni

I mean, come on! That’s not fair!

Metropolitan Police Brand Me a Terrorist!

| Richard

So the Metropolitan Police have launched a new counter-terrorism campaign. Good stuff. From their website:

“Thousands of people have mobiles. What if someone with several seems suspicious? – Terrorists need communication. They often collect and use many anoymous [sic] pay as go phones, as well as swapping Sim cards and handsets. If your [sic] susipicious [sic] of the number of phones someone has , we need to know. Let experienced officers decide what action to take.”

Like shooting us on the tube, perhaps? Gotta love their dyslexia too.

Maybe I should stop going out with my two ‘live’ mobile phones to avoid being shot for being a suspected terrorist?

That Met. Police Poster

Gran Hermano

| Richard

So it has been revealed that BAA, owned by Spanish construction company Ferrovial, plans to fingerprint all passengers at Heathrow’s Terminal 5.

Why?

Well apparently:

“Under the security measure, prints will be checked at the gate to try to ensure the person who checked in is the same person who is boarding the aircraft.”

I would have thought the person’s passport would do this just fine, wouldn’t you?

So why are they doing this? Who knows: maybe it’s just a commerical decision to push their miSense product following their earlier trials. Certainly the Home Office is quoted as saying there’s no requirement in terms of security for fingerprinting to take place and the Information Commissioner is apparently looking into it. There’s also the question as to transmission of the biometric data within the EU (and who knows where else).

The trouble for someone who wants to travel by air on international as well as domestic flights is that with BAA in such a dominant position in terms of airport ownership, you may effectively be forced to be added to a database. Once on there, who knows how long the information will be held and by whom.

What’s the next step? RFID tagging for everyone?

“The offences do not relate to his role as a police officer”

| Richard

From the “do as I say, not as I do” department comes news of one of Norfolk’s finest’s behaviour:

“A police sergeant has been charged with assault, harassment and possessing a knife in a public place.

Mark Murphy, 39, is also charged with failing to provide a breath specimen for analysis and possession of firearm ammunition without a certificate.”

Well that’s all bad enough, but what planet are Norfolk Police on?

A force spokesman said: “We can confirm that a Norfolk officer has been charged with a number of offences and is remanded in custody pending a preliminary court hearing.

“The offences do not relate to his role as a police officer.

“The officer is currently suspended from duty pending the outcome of criminal and disciplinary proceedings.

“It would be inappropriate to comment further while proceedings remain active.”

Excuse me? I thought that policemen were supposed to always be on duty and set an example to us all? Well, unless they’re killing their families whilst on bail for murder, I suppose.

I Love Angelina Jolie!

| Richard

Well! Who could resist yelling that (from Red vs Blue: Real Life vs Internet) in relation to any story concerning Angelina Jolie and that lucky bastard Brad Pitt.

Yes, it turns out that Brad and Angelina have decided to buy a $20M dollar house in Provence after they managed to get consent to build Brad his own personal motorcycle race circuit in the garden.

Bastard!

Now let’s all go home and masturbate!

Stand By Your Man

| Richard

…and look ridiculous! New York Governor Eliot Spitzer announced his his resignation over an allegation – supposedly taped – saying he would “leave public life” two days after he was identified as Client 9 in a $5,500-an-hour international call-girl ring.

“A wiretap found a client, later allegedly identified as the governor, arranging to meet a $1,000-an-hour prostitute named Kristen. Reports say he paid more than $4,000 for her services.”

His news conference featured his doting wife by his side. Why? “Oh sorry, honey, I had the occasional quickie with you when I felt like it but gave Kristen four grand ‘cos she’s worth it!” Why do cheated politician wives stand by their men?

E-mail is Ruining My Life!

| Richard

So runs the headline on the BBC News website today about how e-mail is becoming information overload.

On the BBC’s breakfast news show this morning, they even had voxpops from people saying how they received so many junk e-mails. I bet.

I love this bit too from the BBC News article:

“If I’m out for the day I will receive around 80 e-mails.
Bigjeeze, Bournemouth, UK”

They should be so lucky! My stats for last year showed I received on average 875 definite spam messages every day out of an average 975 e-mails each and every day of the year!

39 Matches a Year

| Richard

Oh those poor dears! It seems that the plan for Premier League teams to play an additional football match abroad every year is meeting with opposition as it might lead to player burn-out, or more injuries, etc.

Oh dear! Yes, how dare anyone suggest that those poor, down-trodden, underpaid loves should play 39 football matches in one year! What with that and all that training they do, there’d be no time for them to party and go shopping or anything.

I am so glad I only work 250+ full days a year instead…