government

Unofficial Sarcasm Provider to the London Olympics

| Richard

I’ve pointed out previously that the last place anyone living in London should want to be in August 2012 will be London whilst the London Olympics is on as it’ll be chaos.

This week, there’s been news about locations for missile batteries in the East End as well. Presumably there to protect the £24bn “investment” that it has grown to (up from the £2bn that Tony BLiar’s Government promised us it would cost when we bid for the Games).

Having decided to spend a whole shedload of our cash, LOCOG have also sought to “monetise” the Games as best they can – no doubt on advice from their Strategic Consulting Provider- and may have taken (or possibly, ignored…) advice from their official market research services provider to the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games as to which companies to approach to get an Official Doodah Provider to the London 2012 Olympic Games moniker:

“The Nielsen Company will assist us in the decision making process by testing our ideas in the market place. One of our challenges – and opportunities – is connecting with young people. Nielsen will help us do this and will, I’m sure, prove to be a huge asset to our marketing push.”

Said Lord Coe. In excellent marketing-speak.

Part of this connection with young people, presumably, is telling them they can’t upload photos onto Facebook or Twitter or whatever from the event if they’re lucky enough to have bought tickets for a quick slot to see a heat of an event before being told to bugger off for the next spectator to take their place:

“Sir Keith Mills, deputy chairman of organisers Locog, said said organisers wanted to make sure that media rights which have been paid for are protected.”

The same goes for the 70,000 (presumably young) people who will be acting as “Games Makers”.

And I suppose that this connection with young people will be to “inspire a generation” – how much did that cost? – perhaps by steering them towards some of the other companies who’ve chipped in (despite growing concern as to their products) to be Worldwide Partner (Coca-Cola), Official Lager Supplier (Heineken, with “exclusive pouring rights”), Official Restaurant of the London 2012 Olympic Games, Official Treat Provider (Cadbury/Trebor) and of course choose from any selection from drugs company and Official Laboratory Services Provider to London 2012 (GlaxoSmithKline). What could possibly go wrong?

Some smokes, some beers...

 

Still, it’s just business…

Robin Hood, Or What Is “Fair”?

| Richard

So we had a new Budget with the Chancellor, Gideon, heralding things that won’t happen for another year in the hope that we will assume he means April 2012 when he refers to “next April” when in fact it’s April 2013.

But apart from that, the Government continue to bang on about everyone paying their fair share in taxes, unless you’re Simon Hughes MP, in which case it’s a “fare share“…

This latest statement by Simon Hughes MP is headlined “Budget makes sure the richest pay their fare share – Simon Hughes MP” but then goes on to fanfare that:

“…hundreds of thousands of South Londoners on low and middle incomes given a tax cut, paid for by raising the burden of tax on the wealthy.”

…

“Liberal Democrats have made sure that this government has done what Labour never did – make sure the richest pay their fair share … despite a cut in the top income tax rate to 45p next year the richest will pay five times the amount in taxes they do today.”

Oh I see! So that’s fair is it?

And where does this magical “five times the amount” come from? I haven’t seen that calculation shown anywhere, or is it just another case of “lies, damned lies and statistics”?

What’s wrong with a proportional tax system whereby everyone pays the same tax in percentage terms? Does a “rich” person use more of what the Government provides from taxes by way of health and welfare than a lower paid person? I’d wager not; probably the opposite with private healthcare being a likely perk. Education? Surely the “rich” are more likely to pay for Quentin and Letitia to go be educated privately too. Local services are paid through Council Tax which increases with property size so the better off are already paying more for local services that way.

If you are going to look at taxation based upon affordability, why not own up and call it that?

For the record, I’m not rich by any means and by a quirk of the tax system which appears bewilderingly complex and confusing, HMRC has already decided that I somehow paid less tax through PAYE then I should have last year – HMRC helpfully provided my tax code which calculated the “incorrect” deductions – and taking that and the tax rules into account, for 2012/2013 I will have a negative code, i.e. I will pay tax on more than I actually earn.

Which is “fair”, if you happen to be a Liberal Democrat politician, obviously. Or a Conservative. Tricky to tell them apart…

London 2012 Olympic Games

| Richard

Yet more reasons for abandoning London during the Olympic Games have come out this week: reports of a lack of hotel rooms and extortionate pricing for those which are available have been discussed on various news channels.

It’s all about supply and demand, of course.

In this case, demand is high because of both the ‘main’ Olympic Games as well as the Paralympic Games afterwards. As noted on the BBC’s “Democracy Live” website:

 ”Speaking during questions on 9 February 2012, Ms Jowell told MPs of a mother who had been forced to pay £1,000 a night for a specially adapted hotel room in order to take her disabled daughter to the Paralympic Games.

“The same room would cost £375 during the Easter holidays, a 167% increase, Ms Jowell claimed.

“She told MPs that her team’s research found that hotel prices in London during the course of the games were, on average, 315% higher than normal.”

Of course demand will be high from tourists and visitors wanting to watch the Games, but it’s also the supply side that’s being affected. Why? Well it’s down to that great gravy train of excess and privilege known as “the Olympic family”. This is estimated to mean 78,400 people. Yes, 78,400!  Of these, well over 60% aren’t actually athletes or officials:

“National Olympic Committees (NOC) 19,900
Includes:
– Athletes
– Team officials

International Federations (IF) 4,150
Includes:
– Technical officials
– International Federations staff and guests

Media 21,300
Includes:
– Press, photographers, journalists
– Rights holding broadcasters
– Olympic Broadcast Organisation

International Olympic Committee (IOC) 1,650
Includes:
– IOC members
– World AntiDoping Agency
– Court of Arbitration of Sport
– IOC Medical Commission
– IOC staff
– Observers and guests

Marketing partners (sponsors) 31,400
Includes:
– The Olympic Partners and guests
– Marketing Partner Coach Programme (ticketed)

Grand total 78,400″

Wow!

This is the bunch that will be bringing traffic chaos to London with the Olympic Route Network of Olympic Family-only traffic lanes carved out of the already-congested existing road network.  It’s explained nicely here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16277688

And where are all these Olympic Family members staying? Well maybe in the rooms they’ve block-booked at specially reduced rates:

“Under a deal struck in 2005, Locog booked around 600,000 room nights in London during the course of the games, for Olympic officials, media and others.

“In January, around 120,000 of these rooms were put back on sale to the public after Locog said it no longer needed them.”

Ah! That would explain it! I’m so pleased I won’t be here in London during the Olympics…

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned

| Richard

…but as always that fury bites both parties. Or so it would appear from today’s news that the Energy Secretary, Chris Huhne and his ex-wife Vicky Pryce will both be charged with perverting the course of justice over claims that she took speeding points on his behalf in 2003.

The whole thing blew up when, following an interview she gave, allegations were made that someone had agreed to take his points for him. This was after the pair had become estranged following his affair.

Maybe saying and doing things out of revenge isn’t such a good idea after all.

Serves them both right!

DVLA Lincoln

| Richard

The Lincoln office of the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Office have apparently built up a backlog of registrations, etc. Which means that due to their incompetence and inability to cope with what should be planned demand, I cannot get a tax disc or get the personalised registration number for my new car. And that means that I cannot pick up my new car.

So I thought I’d ring them to find out the status. The website for the Lincoln DVLA local office says:

“For enquiries about vehicles: 0300 790 6802 (Textphone minicom users 0300 123 1279).

For enquiries about driving licences: 0300 790 6801 (Textphone minicom users 0300 123 1278).

Please note, all calls are handled initially by our call centre based in Swansea.”

Which would be fine, if DVLA Swansea actually answered their calls. The recorded message I got today says that due to high call demand they cannot answer my call and so it hung up the call.

DVLA Registrations Fail

| Richard

I’m looking to buy a plonker plate through the DVLA Registrations website. This requires you to set up an account and log in. So this morning I registered on the site which then immediately fell over:

“service unavailable
sorry…

This service is temporarily unavailable. Your last action cannot be completed and details have not been recorded.

If you have not received confirmation of a successful transaction then your application has been cancelled.

Please click the button below to return to the DVLA Personalised Registrations home page.”

And that’s how it remains at present: you can search and view the public site but try and log in…

Oneplace: Your Guide to Public Services

| Richard

So the Government has launched its new service, oneplace, so that taxpayers can log onto a site to see how the various public services in their area to see how they perform.

But the irony:

The Oneplace website is busy

Unfortunately the Oneplace website is experiencing high volumes of traffic, please try again later.
We apologise for the inconvenience.

Independent Safeguarding Authority

| Richard

Well! Isn’t this a complete waste of time?

The Government’s new Vetting & Barring Scheme comes into effect next year. As a Youth Football Coach, I will have to register with the Independent Safeguarding Authority or face a £5,000 fine. This is over and above my current CRB-checked status (x2 so far…).

So this has to be A Good Thing, doesn’t it, as it will no doubt protect the boys I coach. Well … no, not according to the ISA themselves:

Q21. What does being ‘ISA-registered’ mean?
• ISA-registered means:
- No information is held that demonstrates the person poses a risk of harm to
children or vulnerable adults.
- A person’s registration status is continuously monitored and if any new
information such as a relevant caution or conviction, or information from
employers comes to light, the ISA is informed, they will re-assess the
person’s potential risk to vulnerable groups and they may chose to bar the
individual.
• ISA-registered does not mean:
- That someone is “safe” or has been “cleared to work”
- That the ISA has scrutinised all information held on them, not least because
new information may be coming in all the time.

Q21. What does being ‘ISA-registered’ mean?

• ISA-registered means:

- No information is held that demonstrates the person poses a risk of harm to children or vulnerable adults.

- A person’s registration status is continuously monitored and if any new information such as a relevant caution or conviction, or information from employers comes to light, the ISA is informed, they will re-assess the person’s potential risk to vulnerable groups and they may chose to bar the individual.

• ISA-registered does not mean:

- That someone is “safe” or has been “cleared to work”

- That the ISA has scrutinised all information held on them, not least because new information may be coming in all the time.

[emphasis added]

So yet another complete and utter waste of time from yet another quango, especially as this new ISA Registration will not be replacing CRB checks!

UK Border Agency

| Richard

Entering the UK via Humberside Airport (or how to piss off 200+ UK citizens) with the capable assistance of the UK Border Agency.

I recently travelled through Humberside Airport on holiday. This is not a busy airport: they say they are:

“…a key national and international gateway to Northern and Eastern England, connecting over half a million passengers to 30 destinations every year.”

On the day I returned to the UK, they were handling roughly one incoming flight per hour. Which was just as well, as it took the UK Border Agency over an hour to actually allow me back into the country along with all the other pissed-off passengers on the charter flight.

The UKBA say:

“With tougher checks now in place at the border you may have to wait a little longer to get into the United Kingdom, especially at peak times. We use scanners to ensure that passports, visas and other official documents are genuine. Our officers are trained to detect forgeries and check that people have the right to enter the United Kingdom.

“An officer will check your passport and give you permission to stay, if you need it. We aim to see you within 45 minutes.

“If you are a national of the EU or EEA, you can use the separate EEA/EU channel, where we will usually check your passport or national identity card more quickly.”

ORLY?

Well at Humberside there’s one channel for non-EU travellers and there’s the main bit. The two numpties on duty when I came through looked as though they were on day release from an old folks’ home and clearly relished the opportunity to have a chat with each and every passenger. Presumably these two are what the UKBA refer to as “scanners” because they didn’t actually use any equipment other than their reading glasses and mouths… So after an hour’s queuing, I finally got through their vigorous entry procedures. Just as well it’s not like this at the UK airports I usually travel through on business…