Declaring SORN

Well, I would if I could.

I realised yesterday that the tax has run out on my bike as of the end of October. Now given the bike’s been in the garage since it was last used in September, it’s hardly surprising that I’d forget.

But as it’s not been used on the road, surely that’s not an issue? Well it never used to be until the irritating idiots running this country decided on another scam called a Statutory Off-Road Notification whereby if you take your vehicle off the road you have to tell them or they come after you for the “lost” tax.

Now they’ve decided to allow you to do this online … or at least you can when it’s actually working:

“I am sorry the service is currently unavailable due to essential maintenance.”

And it’s been down all weekend for me. I wonder how much of my tax went on this useless system?

Yuku Whiter Than White

Wow!

Every domain and sub-domain at yuku is serving up a blank white page this morning. I wonder whether “Silent Rob” Labatt will post something about their excellent uptime in due course? No, probably not.

And as irony would have it, “outdated”, “buggy” ezboard is working fine. I bet the Admins. of the boards migrated over to yuku are pleased…

Yuku Nearly Finished?

Yes, according to yuku Customer Services [sic] reps., yuku is “pretty damn close to being “finished” now”.

Woohoo!

It’s only been 2­¼ years since “Silent” Rob Labatt announced that yuku was “available today”.

Alison “Let It Rip” Harrison does, though, say that “there is a slightly major feature many people are still waiting for” which she qualifies as being a threaded topics view. Oh and “a few other things” and “a few bugs”.

I think she’s being a tad economical there: there are a number of long-standing bugs and a number of recently noted bugs including some truly bizarre behaviour with tags disappearing or even being added to, and of course what’s also missing is the ability to back up the yuku boards off yuku if - for whatever unimaginable reason - you don’t trust ezboard, Inc. to backup your data properly… This personal backup ability was something that “Silent Rob” promised back in the summer of 2005 when they lost all those thousands of messages and the supposed backups were somehow also deleted.

And still no word on pricing or the major selling point of yuku: sharing advertising revenues with message board owners that made yuku “better than free”.

Pretty damn close to being finished? I think not!

Word 2007 Speechless

Yet another “benefit” or “upgrading” to Word 2007 is the loss of the text-to-speech function inlcuded in earlier versions – I used to use this to read a Word document from one screen so that I could look for differences in a document or web page on another screen.

I found this out after waiting a little while for the Word Help [sic] window to finally open. It says:

“Text-to-speech features are included only in Microsoft Office Excel.”

Why? Well clearly Microsoft want us all to “upgrade” to Windows Vista, their operating system that would insist on my replacing a previously high end sound card with a new one just because there are no Vista drivers for it. Why the hell should I?

You think I’m kidding? No:

“Speech recognition features are not available in the 2007 Microsoft Office system programs.

“To use speech recognition features, run Windows Speech Recognition in Windows Vista.”

Or not. Helpfully, Microsoft also say:

“If your operating system is Microsoft Windows XP, you must run a previous version of a Microsoft Office system program to use speech recognition features.”

Now they tell us…

There is, however, a workaround. From within Word start the VBA Editor  by pressing Alt+F11.

Add a reference in the normal project to Microsoft Speech Object Library (Tools | References…).

Locate the “Microsoft Speech Object Library” reference and add a tick to the check box.

Note: You must have installed the Speech portion of Excel for the Microsoft Speech Object Library to be available to the VBA editor.

Create a new module by right-clicking the Modules element in the tree under the Normal project and clicking Insert | Module. Call it TextToSpeech in the module’s properties box (where it will say Module1 or whatever next to “(Name)”).

Copy and paste the following macro code into the module you have created, save and close the macro editor.

Dim speech as SpVoice 'Don't overlook this line!

Sub SpeakText()
'Based on a macro by Mathew Heikkila
'
On Error Resume Next
Set speech = New SpVoice
If Len(Selection.Text) > 1 Then 'speak selection
speech.Speak Selection.Text, _
SVSFlagsAsync + SVSFPurgeBeforeSpeak
Else 'speak whole document
speech.Speak ActiveDocument.Range(0, ActiveDocument.Characters.Count).Text, _
SVSFlagsAsync + SVSFPurgeBeforeSpeak
End If
Do
DoEvents
Loop Until speech.WaitUntilDone(10)
Set speech = Nothing
End Sub
Sub StopSpeaking()
'Based on a macro by Mathew Heikkila
'used to interrupt any running speech to text
On Error Resume Next
speech.Speak vbNullString, SVSFPurgeBeforeSpeak
Set speech = Nothing
End Sub

Now add this to your Quick Access Toolbar by clicking the down arrow at the end of the QAT | Customize Quick Access Toolbar | More Commands | Choose commands from: and select Macros from the drop-down list | Add | OK.

To use the macro, select a block of text to be read out to you and click the Macro in your QAT (or else it will read the whole shebang as I must confess the stop macro didn’t work for me…).

Speeding

On the same subject, I was pondering about speeding today: a lovely day, a wide dual-carriageway that had opened up to three lanes, the fairly light traffic moving well, etc.

The traffic was flowing well at speeds of between 50 and 100mph, I’d guess, with no bunching, lots of space being left, etc. Nice and safe.

And then we came across a rare sight on our roads these days: a marked Volvo estate doing slightly under 70mph. All the alert drivers slowed down to 70mph and for the few miles until the police car turned off, it was horrible. The previously free-flowing road was now snarled up with everyone keeping to the limit and thus taking much longer to overake the slower moving commercial vehicles which in turn was causing longer queues of traffic and further bunching. It was clearly a far more dangerous place to be with so many other vehicles in a smaller area than they otherwise would be taking up.

But of course, that wasn’t the point, was it? Forget good driving: everyone was having to simply obey an arbitrary limit set in 1965 when the average family car was hard pressed to hit 70mph and even more hard pressed to slow down from that speed. Ridiculous!

The Trouble with Speed Cameras…

So after people decided that the “scameras” were being located for maximum revenue potential rather than to actually save lives – pouring scorn on the pathetic “safety camera” doublespeak that our illustrious leaders and the NGOs indulge in to restrict us - regulations were introduced to require speed cameras to be brightly painted, be visible from 60m (200ft), and be sited only where there was a history of road accidents. Of course the scamera vans flouted these guidelines no doubt to be seen to be doing something about this scourge (sarcasm intended).

It was only by chance that I happened upon an article in the Motoring section of today’s Daily Telegraph which reveals an about turn by the Department for Transport and that those regulations are now merely guidelines. So we can now expect these little Hitlers to be concealing scameras all over the place to provide as much justification as possible for these useless wankers to keep their overpaid and unnecessary jobs.

Their true intentions are revealed by this telling quote from Lee Murphy, speed camera manager for Cheshire:

“If the rules weren’t compulsory, we could use cameras to tackle emerging trends rather than waiting for the minimum number of collisions.”

In other words, “forget the justification for speed cameras being that they are positioned to assist road safety, it’s all about the money!”

Jean Charles de Menezes

So in a Health & Safety prosecution(!), the Metropolitan Police have been found guilty of endangering the public and fined a total of £560,000 including costs.

No-one is taking responsibility for shooting dead an innocent man. No individual has been convicted of any wrongdoing. No individual has been sacked. Who will be paying that fine? The Council Tax payers in London, of course. So all those involved from the bottom to the top get off scot-free. As usual.

Why not take a look at the comedy of errors that lead to the death of an innocent man. No laughing matter, eh?

I wonder how the police would be reacting if they’d shot one of their own, like “Ivor” who was dragged out of the carriage with guns to his head and chest. Maybe there would have been repercussions then?

Daily Mail readers and others who are ‘hard-of-understanding’ are already defending these incompetents saying things like “the police thought he was a terrorist!” No, they didn’t. They thought he looked a bit like someone who they thought might have been a terrorist, despite his having “Mongolian eyes”, whatever that means. This man was innocent and was slaughtered!

Still, at least when our civil liberties are being further eroded and the ‘hard-of-understanding’ bleat out their usual “if you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve nothing to fear” crap, we can remind them that Jean Charles de Menezes had done nothing wrong but as he was about to die he had everything to fear…